Pogo Gnom

One gnome. One pogo stick. 800 metres to the moon.

No checkpoints. No saves. No mercy.

One bad jump at 600 metres puts you back on the lawn. That is not a bug. That is the game.

Then the paperwork arrives

After every fall, the GARDEN OFFICE gets in touch. An official notice, duly served, with a reference number. It knows your name, it knows your altitude — and it knows exactly how often you have failed in that exact spot.

ASCENT PERMIT DENIED. Ref. GA-2026-0417. The site has been surveyed. There are no grounds for appeal.

Every notice is filed in your cabinet. There are hundreds. You do not want to collect them all. You will anyway.

The climb

• Ten zones from the lawn to the moon — seven with a rule of their own

• Spring clouds bounce you back, the wind at the antenna drags you sideways, roof tiles slide out from under you, on the moon you float

• Height and distance share one charge — you cannot have them separately

• The final jump to the moon has a seven percent timing window

Rank and kit

• Ten ranks, from Applicant to Moon Clerk with Right of Appeal. Your rank never falls.

• Eight characters, thirteen hats, thirteen coats, twelve pogo sticks, sixteen trails — all from chests, all earned

• No microtransactions. No purchases. None.

Made to be shared

• Every fall is recorded automatically, ready to share

• Every notice can be saved as an image, with seal and stamp

• A daily challenge: the same route for everyone, new every day

Runs entirely offline. No tutorial beyond the first few minutes. It will not help you.

Good luck. The office is not expecting it.